well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
