I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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