mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
