Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
