Fuck appropriateness.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
