im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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