My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
