some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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