great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
