dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
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I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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