Can i not drive my cunt home
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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