I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
