it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You have to summon your inner elephant
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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