When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
operation have a gay friend backfired
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
