Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My bed smells like the plague
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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