dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
