literally had 100 drinks last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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