Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
