I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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