Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
