told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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