you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
