Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
