What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
