You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
