Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
