My hand turned me down
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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