Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize