She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
