my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
