He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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