ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
