She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
