So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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