Define "chronic" masturbator.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
