# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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