i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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