He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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