Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
