I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
