Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
