Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the raccoons are back...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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