Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry blondiebabe hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(906): View more from Michigan

quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets

Fav 11 958 2772
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

Fav 10 1408 3233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.

Fav 7 2539 1217
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

Fav 2 2290 941
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

Fav 13 3590 972
share tweet
(310): View more from California

Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?

(626): View more from California

That's two questions.

Fav 4 2180 1244
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

Fav 5 1914 708
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner

Fav 1 29 45
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so

Fav 0 334 52
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT