If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
