nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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