Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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