She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
