I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
