I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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