my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
