TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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