My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
