READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
