She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
