How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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