You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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