thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
