Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
