I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
