yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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