woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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