was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
