Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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