Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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